Men and Adult Toys
I had the opportunity recently to observe the behaviour of young men towards adult toys. The level of self imposed intimidation was unbelievable. We live in Johannesburg after all, where we see ourselves as cosmopolitan in our thinking, life style and outlook. The shop is in one of the busiest streets of Melville, an area known for “anything goes”. These same men had no problem buying weed paraphernalia but many where to shy to even look at the adult toy display.
This raises the question, why are they so intimidated by small, silicone toys that is suppose to enhance sexual pleasure regardless of your sex. Is it possible that their young, inflated egos view the adult toy as a competitor they cannot possibly compete with? Or should we interpret this as a general lack of self and perhaps sexual confidence?
The few souls, brave enough to respond to why the toys are such a threat, informed me that the toys become an addiction. Their view not mine. Research shows that we are social animals requiring a connection with other human beings to remain emotionally healthy. Can a silicone toy ever replace the feeling of warm skin on skin, or the sensation of a warm tongue tracing you body contours? Most certainly not in my book.
It however seems that this type of behaviour applies to South African males in general and not just to the younger generation. A highly educated, matured gentleman with a list of fancy degrees, who actually provides emotional consultation to ordinary people at a charge as his day job, had difficulty being confronted with adult toys. It is entirely possible that his discomfort could be due to his age or his background. I just find it difficult to understand how a person in such a position could have such a disposition to adult toys. Maybe the old saying is true – people who give the best advise are normally the people with the most problems.
I however believe that this behaviour can largely be contributed to the general attitude towards sex in our society. Sex remains a topic for discussion behind close doors, despite the fact that it is one of the most natural human acts. We hide it from our children and only have THE TALK with them when forced to do so. By this time they typically know more about it than us, the parents. South Africa love sex, we are just not brave enough to acknowledge this is public. It is after all easier to make funny comments about sex toys than to own up that we are actually petrified in dealing with the topic in public.